PLAYING HARD TO GET COULD BE COSTLY

Mabel is young. She is pretty. She has got a great job and like bees to honey, every man desires her. In fact, she gets marriage proposals like the air she breathes. But that was in my prime, she states. Then, I was between 24 and 25 years old and I had the world at my feet and I thought I could easily get a man whenever I was set for marriage. Ironically, I clocked 34 years two weeks ago and I am still as single as a tailor’s needle.

The last proposal was on my 26th birthday when harry, a young lecturer proposed to me. I knew he wanted me badly and was always talking about life together. He had an aged mother who wanted him married. So imagine the pressure on me. My answer was always: I need time. Not that I didn’t like him, I was also in love but how can I agree to a proposal from a guy so cheaply?

I thought l should play hard –to-get a bit and allow him know that he had other contenders. How wrong I was. By the time I kept him waiting for six months, he stopped coming and calling. Initially, I thought it was a joke but when it was almost a year and I saw a friend of his, I knew the game was up. Harry got married to anther woman. His friend told me that he thought I didn’t love him and had to get married. Though I am still pretty, I am frantically searching for a mate.

Henrietta is 42. She is an architect and works in a federal ministry in Abuja. To think that I served here, worked here and still single is unbelievable, she says. I have lost count of the many suitors I had when I was a youth corps member. They came in droves and I was scared. There was this particular guy who was ready to marry me before I ended my service but I was scared.

I was just 23, pretty and had not known the world. I told him to give me time, which he did. Along the line, another guy came but he was richer and ready to take me abroad for further studies. I thought of my mother (a widow) and how she would feel if I left her. So, I just played a fast one on him collected his gifts and refused his offer. I almost ended up as a second wife to an army general during the military era. I got landed property, cars and foreign trips from him, he was quite generous and was ready to marry me but my problem was his wife. She threatened to kill me if I attempted marrying her husband and I decided being a mistress.

Maybe the period of nursing the man and meeting his needs saw me growing older. I had no time for younger suitors and realized that I was in my early 30s. then, I tried making myself available to other men but I had already been tagged General’s wife and none wanted me. Though alive, I have called off the affair with him (heard he is sating a youth corps member) and I have resorted to getting a good husband from the church I now attend.

Sex and Love!! Does having sex mean l'll fall in Love?

Sex is not love! Our culture has taught us that sex and love are one in the same. This is a lie. Sex is a beautiful God-given activity that is wonderful when practiced within the boundaries of a Biblical marriage. Sex is the completion of the binding of two people within Biblical marriage; it is a God-given gift.

Pre-Marital Sex: because premarital sex is not love, it only leads to pain and disappointment for those who are seeking that love. The Bible says that when two people are married, they become one flesh (Ephesians 5:31). Sex is consummation of that union. When two people break off their relationship after having sex, it is like ripping apart flesh. This is why two teenagers will struggle so much and become so dependent on those they give their bodies to. In light of I Corinthians 13:4-8 (above), it is easy to see that premarital sex is not patient, it is not kind, it does not protect, it is self-seeking. It is not love!

Does having sex mean I'll fall in love? Being in love sometimes leads to sex, but having sex will not guarantee that you or your partner will fall in love. So, if you're using sex to get love, you'll probably be disappointed. Sex means something different to everyone. So does love. Sometimes, having sex makes you feel like you're in love, but it can fool you. You think you're in love because of the way a person makes you feel physically -- not because of who they are and what you give to each other. Also, strange as it sounds, having sex too soon can actually thwart love. When two people get too physical, too quickly, they sometimes get embarrassed and pull away from each other. It's easy to bare your body -- much harder to bare your soul. So sometimes, sex feels like the fast way to love and intimacy. It's not. Truth is couples who take their time to become friends and are waiting till they get married before having sex usually become closer and more intimate. And that's love.

HOW TO COMPLIMENT A GIRL

Have u ever experienced awkward silence when u couldn't think of anything to say? Then you notice something on the girl you're talking to which you love. You want to say something about it but don't exactly know how. Here is how to do that without offending her or being too forward.

Think before you speak: Don't just open your mouth and blurt out d first thing you think of because it may come out in d wrong way or she may hear it the wrong way. Take a second 2make sure its something she would like to hear.

Decide what you want to: You can compliment, and you can flirt. Be sure you know what u want. Girls can easily mistake a simple compliment as a flirtatious signal, so make yourself clear -a compliment is made and then u move on. Flirting is accompanied by a special smile, lingering eye contact, or an unnecessary touch.



Keep to the point: If the compliment is about something material, like a bracelet or a shirt, it's totally easy. If it's something like d way she tot about a topic in class or something, be careful, because u don't want 2 sound like too much of a know-it-all. Keep your comment brief and don't gush, especially if you don't know her well.

Speak when it’s timely: Don't wait till the moment has passed. Tell her how much you like

whatever it is before someone else nearby does. You feel awkward (and can look/sound like a

joiner) when someone else compliments, and you're chiming in after them with, "yeah... I like it, too" or - even worse -you remain silent.

Notice her Appearance (not her looks): When she's wearing something cute or looks nice, say something low-key. "Whoa, you look totally great today!" is really awkward, unless you're dating the girl. There are a lot of things that indicate a girl looks good that have nothing to do with her features, or even her clothing. For example, if her hair is normally wavy, but it's straight today, and it looks especially lustrous, if you say something like, "hey, did you straighten your hair or something? That's a great look for you", it will go over better.

Stop, look, and Listen: Once you've remarked on the object, look at her face when she's

answering you. Don't stare at the thing you complimented. You'll look obsessed. Listen to what she's telling you so you can respond. You can make some sort of acknowledging remarks, such as, "Mm hmm." If she got an amazing deal, for example, it was found at a flea market for 75 cents, or something like that, you are allowed to gush a little bit ("No way!").

Gauge her response. If she seems pretty friendly, you may have just made a new friend. If, after step one or two she says something very short or curt, such as, "At the swap meet." and leaves it there, she's probably not interested in conversing, at least about that, at that moment. (Tips) Smile, and don't be offended if she doesn't compliment you back. Everyone wants to hear something like, "You look great today, Skye!" Some girls react solely on their emotions. So, even when they can't see through your gesture as genuinely nice and be happy that you

took the time to open your mouth to spit some horrible game at them, it's not your fault that

they can't respond appropriately to a nice person and simply disregard it as "creepy".