What you should know before getting married...

Couples, who focus on romance without allowing time to assess their life together, may be setting themselves -- and their marriage -- up for failure, Consider the questions below as True Lovers breaks down the things you need to know before getting married.

Allowing time to get to know each other -- a courtship of at least a year or, better yet, two to three years -- allows time for potential partners to interact with each other in all kinds of situations and to observe how the other interacts with family and friends, at work and in the community, Olsen says.

"Relationships that began as friendships and evolve into a romantic relationship typically seem to fare better over the long haul," she says. Olsen advises prospective partners to talk about their goals, values and expectations before making a commitment to marriage.
Ask yourself the following questions:

How does each partner define marriage? What is each prospective partner's expectation for a marriage? Is marriage viewed as a lifetime commitment? If not, why?

Why marry? Is one prospective partner looking for financial security or status? Is the other looking for someone to organize their life or maintain the home? Is the desire to marry driven by hormones -- or a desire for companionship? What is the sexual expectation?

Are financial management goals compatible? Whether a saver or spender, can prospective partners work out a financial management plan that covers the basics, saves for emergencies and the future, and still allows some personal discretionary money? Does either prospective partner have school loans, credit card or other debt? If so, what is the plan to pay off the debt? Keeping debts hidden from a prospective spouse is certain to cause problems later on, Olsen says.

Sex and Love!! Does having sex mean l'll fall in Love?

Sex is not love! Our culture has taught us that sex and love are one in the same. This is a lie. Sex is a beautiful God-given activity that is wonderful when practiced within the boundaries of a Biblical marriage. Sex is the completion of the binding of two people within Biblical marriage; it is a God-given gift.

Pre-Marital Sex: because premarital sex is not love, it only leads to pain and disappointment for those who are seeking that love. The Bible says that when two people are married, they become one flesh (Ephesians 5:31). Sex is consummation of that union. When two people break off their relationship after having sex, it is like ripping apart flesh. This is why two teenagers will struggle so much and become so dependent on those they give their bodies to. In light of I Corinthians 13:4-8 (above), it is easy to see that premarital sex is not patient, it is not kind, it does not protect, it is self-seeking. It is not love!

Does having sex mean I'll fall in love? Being in love sometimes leads to sex, but having sex will not guarantee that you or your partner will fall in love. So, if you're using sex to get love, you'll probably be disappointed. Sex means something different to everyone. So does love. Sometimes, having sex makes you feel like you're in love, but it can fool you. You think you're in love because of the way a person makes you feel physically -- not because of who they are and what you give to each other. Also, strange as it sounds, having sex too soon can actually thwart love. When two people get too physical, too quickly, they sometimes get embarrassed and pull away from each other. It's easy to bare your body -- much harder to bare your soul. So sometimes, sex feels like the fast way to love and intimacy. It's not. Truth is couples who take their time to become friends and are waiting till they get married before having sex usually become closer and more intimate. And that's love.