Couples, who focus on romance without allowing time to assess their life together, may be setting themselves -- and their marriage -- up for failure, Consider the questions below as True Lovers breaks down the things you need to know before getting married.
Allowing time to get to know each other -- a courtship of at least a year or, better yet, two to three years -- allows time for potential partners to interact with each other in all kinds of situations and to observe how the other interacts with family and friends, at work and in the community, Olsen says.
"Relationships that began as friendships and evolve into a romantic relationship typically seem to fare better over the long haul," she says. Olsen advises prospective partners to talk about their goals, values and expectations before making a commitment to marriage.
Ask yourself the following questions:
How does each partner define marriage? What is each prospective partner's expectation for a marriage? Is marriage viewed as a lifetime commitment? If not, why?
Why marry? Is one prospective partner looking for financial security or status? Is the other looking for someone to organize their life or maintain the home? Is the desire to marry driven by hormones -- or a desire for companionship? What is the sexual expectation?
Are financial management goals compatible? Whether a saver or spender, can prospective partners work out a financial management plan that covers the basics, saves for emergencies and the future, and still allows some personal discretionary money? Does either prospective partner have school loans, credit card or other debt? If so, what is the plan to pay off the debt? Keeping debts hidden from a prospective spouse is certain to cause problems later on, Olsen says.
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