Couples, who focus on romance without allowing time to assess their life together, may be setting themselves -- and their marriage -- up for failure, Consider the questions below as True Lovers breaks down the things you need to know before getting married.
Allowing time to get to know each other -- a courtship of at least a year or, better yet, two to three years -- allows time for potential partners to interact with each other in all kinds of situations and to observe how the other interacts with family and friends, at work and in the community, Olsen says.
"Relationships that began as friendships and evolve into a romantic relationship typically seem to fare better over the long haul," she says. Olsen advises prospective partners to talk about their goals, values and expectations before making a commitment to marriage.
Ask yourself the following questions:
How does each partner define marriage? What is each prospective partner's expectation for a marriage? Is marriage viewed as a lifetime commitment? If not, why?
Why marry? Is one prospective partner looking for financial security or status? Is the other looking for someone to organize their life or maintain the home? Is the desire to marry driven by hormones -- or a desire for companionship? What is the sexual expectation?
Are financial management goals compatible? Whether a saver or spender, can prospective partners work out a financial management plan that covers the basics, saves for emergencies and the future, and still allows some personal discretionary money? Does either prospective partner have school loans, credit card or other debt? If so, what is the plan to pay off the debt? Keeping debts hidden from a prospective spouse is certain to cause problems later on, Olsen says.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
The Story of Valentine
Every February, across the country, candy, flowers, and gifts are exchanged between loved ones, all in the name of St. Valentine. But who is this mysterious saint and why do we celebrate this holiday? The history of Valentine's Day — and its patron saint — is shrouded in mystery. But we do know that February has long been a month of romance. St. Valentine's Day, as we know it today, contains vestiges of both Christian and ancient Roman tradition. So, who was Saint Valentine and how did he become associated with this ancient rite? Today, the Catholic Church recognizes at least three different saints named Valentine or Valentinus, all of whom were martyred. One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men — his crop of potential soldiers. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death.
Other stories suggest that Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons where they were often beaten and tortured.
According to one legend, Valentine actually sent the first 'valentine' greeting himself. While in prison, it is believed that Valentine fell in love with a young girl — who may have been his jailor's daughter — who visited him during his confinement. Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter, which he signed 'From your Valentine,' an expression that is still in use today. Although the truth behind the Valentine legends is murky, the stories certainly emphasize his appeal as a sympathetic, heroic, and, most importantly, romantic figure. It's no surprise that by the Middle Ages, Valentine was one of the most popular saints in England and France.
While some believe that Valentine's Day is celebrated in the middle of February to commemorate the anniversary of Valentine's death or burial — which probably occurred around 270 A.D — others claim that the Christian church may have decided to celebrate Valentine's feast day in the middle of February in an effort to 'christianize' celebrations of the pagan Lupercalia festival. In ancient Rome, February was the official beginning of spring and was considered a time for purification. Houses were ritually cleansed by sweeping them out and then sprinkling salt and a type of wheat called spelt throughout their interiors. Lupercalia, which began at the ides of February, February 15, was a fertility festival dedicated to Faunus, the Roman god of agriculture, as well as to the Roman founders Romulus and Remus.
To begin the festival, members of the Luperci, an order of Roman priests, would gather at the sacred cave where the infants Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome, were believed to have been cared for by a she-wolf or lupa. The priests would then sacrifice a goat, for fertility, and a dog, for purification.
The boys then sliced the goat's hide into strips, dipped them in the sacrificial blood and took to the streets, gently slapping both women and fields of crops with the goathide strips. Far from being fearful, Roman women welcomed being touched with the hides because it was believed the strips would make them more fertile in the coming year. Later in the day, according to legend, all the young women in the city would place their names in a big urn. The city's bachelors would then each choose a name out of the urn and become paired for the year with his chosen woman. These matches often ended in marriage. Pope Gelasius declared February 14 St. Valentine's Day around 498 A.D. The Roman 'lottery' system for romantic pairing was deemed un-Christian and outlawed. Later, during the Middle Ages, it was commonly believed in France and England that February 14 was the beginning of birds' mating season, which added to the idea that the middle of February — Valentine's Day — should be a day for romance. The oldest known valentine still in existence today was a poem written by Charles, Duke of Orleans to his wife while he was imprisoned in the Tower of London following his capture at the Battle of Agincourt. The greeting, which was written in 1415, is part of the manuscript collection of the British Library in London, England. Several years later, it is believed that King Henry V hired a writer named John Lydgate to compose a valentine note to Catherine of Valois.
In Great Britain, Valentine's Day began to be popularly celebrated around the seventeenth century. By the middle of the eighteenth century, it was common for friends and lovers in all social classes to exchange small tokens of affection or handwritten notes. By the end of the century, printed cards began to replace written letters due to improvements in printing technology. Ready-made cards were an easy way for people to express their emotions in a time when direct expression of one's feelings was discouraged. Cheaper postage rates also contributed to an increase in the popularity of sending Valentine's Day greetings. Americans probably began exchanging hand-made valentines in the early 1700s. In the 1840s, Esther A. Howland began to sell the first mass-produced valentines in America.
Everywhere today, many people involve in this celebration without any knowledge of its origin!
Love is with us and should be shown everyday as best as we can! Be innovative, keep tripping ur partner everyday, don’t wait for no particular day! This is just my view!
Agape!
Other stories suggest that Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons where they were often beaten and tortured.
According to one legend, Valentine actually sent the first 'valentine' greeting himself. While in prison, it is believed that Valentine fell in love with a young girl — who may have been his jailor's daughter — who visited him during his confinement. Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter, which he signed 'From your Valentine,' an expression that is still in use today. Although the truth behind the Valentine legends is murky, the stories certainly emphasize his appeal as a sympathetic, heroic, and, most importantly, romantic figure. It's no surprise that by the Middle Ages, Valentine was one of the most popular saints in England and France.
While some believe that Valentine's Day is celebrated in the middle of February to commemorate the anniversary of Valentine's death or burial — which probably occurred around 270 A.D — others claim that the Christian church may have decided to celebrate Valentine's feast day in the middle of February in an effort to 'christianize' celebrations of the pagan Lupercalia festival. In ancient Rome, February was the official beginning of spring and was considered a time for purification. Houses were ritually cleansed by sweeping them out and then sprinkling salt and a type of wheat called spelt throughout their interiors. Lupercalia, which began at the ides of February, February 15, was a fertility festival dedicated to Faunus, the Roman god of agriculture, as well as to the Roman founders Romulus and Remus.
To begin the festival, members of the Luperci, an order of Roman priests, would gather at the sacred cave where the infants Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome, were believed to have been cared for by a she-wolf or lupa. The priests would then sacrifice a goat, for fertility, and a dog, for purification.
The boys then sliced the goat's hide into strips, dipped them in the sacrificial blood and took to the streets, gently slapping both women and fields of crops with the goathide strips. Far from being fearful, Roman women welcomed being touched with the hides because it was believed the strips would make them more fertile in the coming year. Later in the day, according to legend, all the young women in the city would place their names in a big urn. The city's bachelors would then each choose a name out of the urn and become paired for the year with his chosen woman. These matches often ended in marriage. Pope Gelasius declared February 14 St. Valentine's Day around 498 A.D. The Roman 'lottery' system for romantic pairing was deemed un-Christian and outlawed. Later, during the Middle Ages, it was commonly believed in France and England that February 14 was the beginning of birds' mating season, which added to the idea that the middle of February — Valentine's Day — should be a day for romance. The oldest known valentine still in existence today was a poem written by Charles, Duke of Orleans to his wife while he was imprisoned in the Tower of London following his capture at the Battle of Agincourt. The greeting, which was written in 1415, is part of the manuscript collection of the British Library in London, England. Several years later, it is believed that King Henry V hired a writer named John Lydgate to compose a valentine note to Catherine of Valois.
In Great Britain, Valentine's Day began to be popularly celebrated around the seventeenth century. By the middle of the eighteenth century, it was common for friends and lovers in all social classes to exchange small tokens of affection or handwritten notes. By the end of the century, printed cards began to replace written letters due to improvements in printing technology. Ready-made cards were an easy way for people to express their emotions in a time when direct expression of one's feelings was discouraged. Cheaper postage rates also contributed to an increase in the popularity of sending Valentine's Day greetings. Americans probably began exchanging hand-made valentines in the early 1700s. In the 1840s, Esther A. Howland began to sell the first mass-produced valentines in America.
Everywhere today, many people involve in this celebration without any knowledge of its origin!
Love is with us and should be shown everyday as best as we can! Be innovative, keep tripping ur partner everyday, don’t wait for no particular day! This is just my view!
Agape!
Monday, March 1, 2010
What is Purpose?
Purpose is the original intent for creating a thing, original reason for existence. It is the force behind the fulfillment of destiny and It is the secret of success and the key to realization.
Biblically, Purpose is the intention of God for creating man. It is man's reason for existence.
Jesus: His purpose is to save His people from sin.
Paul: His purpose was to preach Jesus among the heathen.
To have no aim for living is to live an endless life and mindless life. Your purpose in life is you in action. If a man has no purpose for living, he is not fit to live. Purpose enables you to put action in life. It makes for enthronement when discovered and pursued diligently.
How to know you’re in life.
Purpose cannot be determined but discovered. You cannot wake up one day and say this is my purpose except you have discovered it of course from the source, God, who is your creator; He knows why He created you.
How to discovered your purpose.
- Studying His Word.
- Prayer and Supplication.
- By the leading of the Holy Spirit.
The pursuit of your purpose.
After discovering your purpose, the next thing is to pursue it. Pursuit is an action word. It is a force. You can never realize your purpose until you pursue it. It is what gives value to your purpose. One thing is to discover your purpose another is to pursue it. Great purpose requires great pursuit.
What is Pursuit?
Pursuit is the relevant force that gives motion to purpose. Until you pursue your pursue your purpose, you cannot possess it. The benefits accrued to it will be illusive to you. A disciplined pursuit of your purpose will earn you a Kingdom. Every object assumes a state of rest until a relevant force is applied to it. Great purpose requires great pursuit. Once you discover your purpose, write it down, digest it, make it plain, so that people will understand it with you and run with you. If you do not understand it, you cannot pursue it. Secondly, if you don't understand it, you will not be able to make it plain for others to run with you.
Benefits of purposeful life.
1. Knowing your purpose gives meaning to your life.
2. Purpose simplfies life.
3. Purpose focuses your life.
4. Purpose motivates your life.
5. Purpose prepares you for eternity.
Finally, discover your purpose, be focused and fulfill the purpose. A man with a purpose is a miracle and blessing to his generation. The greatest tragedy is not death but life without purpose.
Many people think that reading money books and attending financial seminars alone would make them wealthy. This is an illusion. It is only knowledge that is applied that can bring tangible results. So, if you want to be truly wealthy, you must set goals and develop the discipline to make these goals real. It is possible.
Hard work: All hard work bring a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.
Laziness: A sleeping lobster is carried away by the water current.
Earnings: Never depend on a single source of income. (At least make your investments get you second earning).
Spending: If you buy things you don't need, you wil soon sell things you need.
Savings: Don't save what is left after spending; spend what is left after saving.
Borrowings: The borrower becomes the lender's slave.
Accounting: It's no use caring an umbrella, if your shoes are leaking.
Auditing: Beware of little expenses; A small leak can sink a large ship.
Risks - taking: Never test the dept of the river with both feet. (Have an alternate plan ready).
Investment: Don't put all your eggs in one basket.
Biblically, Purpose is the intention of God for creating man. It is man's reason for existence.
Jesus: His purpose is to save His people from sin.
Paul: His purpose was to preach Jesus among the heathen.
To have no aim for living is to live an endless life and mindless life. Your purpose in life is you in action. If a man has no purpose for living, he is not fit to live. Purpose enables you to put action in life. It makes for enthronement when discovered and pursued diligently.
How to know you’re in life.
Purpose cannot be determined but discovered. You cannot wake up one day and say this is my purpose except you have discovered it of course from the source, God, who is your creator; He knows why He created you.
How to discovered your purpose.
- Studying His Word.
- Prayer and Supplication.
- By the leading of the Holy Spirit.
The pursuit of your purpose.
After discovering your purpose, the next thing is to pursue it. Pursuit is an action word. It is a force. You can never realize your purpose until you pursue it. It is what gives value to your purpose. One thing is to discover your purpose another is to pursue it. Great purpose requires great pursuit.
What is Pursuit?
Pursuit is the relevant force that gives motion to purpose. Until you pursue your pursue your purpose, you cannot possess it. The benefits accrued to it will be illusive to you. A disciplined pursuit of your purpose will earn you a Kingdom. Every object assumes a state of rest until a relevant force is applied to it. Great purpose requires great pursuit. Once you discover your purpose, write it down, digest it, make it plain, so that people will understand it with you and run with you. If you do not understand it, you cannot pursue it. Secondly, if you don't understand it, you will not be able to make it plain for others to run with you.
Benefits of purposeful life.
1. Knowing your purpose gives meaning to your life.
2. Purpose simplfies life.
3. Purpose focuses your life.
4. Purpose motivates your life.
5. Purpose prepares you for eternity.
Finally, discover your purpose, be focused and fulfill the purpose. A man with a purpose is a miracle and blessing to his generation. The greatest tragedy is not death but life without purpose.
Many people think that reading money books and attending financial seminars alone would make them wealthy. This is an illusion. It is only knowledge that is applied that can bring tangible results. So, if you want to be truly wealthy, you must set goals and develop the discipline to make these goals real. It is possible.
Hard work: All hard work bring a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.
Laziness: A sleeping lobster is carried away by the water current.
Earnings: Never depend on a single source of income. (At least make your investments get you second earning).
Spending: If you buy things you don't need, you wil soon sell things you need.
Savings: Don't save what is left after spending; spend what is left after saving.
Borrowings: The borrower becomes the lender's slave.
Accounting: It's no use caring an umbrella, if your shoes are leaking.
Auditing: Beware of little expenses; A small leak can sink a large ship.
Risks - taking: Never test the dept of the river with both feet. (Have an alternate plan ready).
Investment: Don't put all your eggs in one basket.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
HOW TO MOTIVATE YOURSELF
Motivation is what keeps us moving even it seems there is no hope for survival. There are lots of potholes along the path of success, and if you fall into any, motivation is the pulley machine that would move you up the path. As paracetamol is the easy to reach antidote for headache, so also is motivation for those who want to be successful. There is no need to fold your arms, waiting to be consoled. Have you ever dreamt about something that appears impossible? There is a solution to whatever your dreams and vision are. Let’s study how airplanes came into existence. In 1904, the Edinburgh society of Engineers said that it was impossible for a metal object to go up in the air. Their resolution was the best they knew at the time it was passed, but that did not make it right. Not until 1908, when Orville and Wilbur, the Wright Brothers flew the first airplane, contrary to the resolution of the Edinburgh society of Engineers. What did the Wright Brothers do? They simply motivated themselves. So, the solution to your seemingly difficult dreams is to tell yourself ‘ I can overcome the impossibility of my dreams.’ “ A man’s best at a particular time is not always his ultimate, said David O. Abioye, the author of Productive Thinking. Look at every challenge in the face and say to it, “ I can overcome you.” Take up what men have given up and tell yourself it can be done. There is great power stored up in your mind, so don’t lose it to lack of use. Motivate yourself to move to your destination.
MARRIAGE TIPS
Make Breakfast: Making your partner breakfast may not sound like much but it’s a thoughtful act at the start of the day. In small way, it reconfirms the bond and connection between husband and wife. However, this only works if the favour is returned by your other half on a regular basis. If you make his breakfast 99days out of 100, then not only will you begin to see it as just another chore but he will take it for granted and there place little or no emphasis on it.
Be nice to his friends: Much like your husband’s family, his friends can probably be hit or miss. But unlike with his family, you may not fell that you need to make an effort to get on with is friends. In some cases, this can be areal mistake. Your husband’s close friends are probably an important part of his life. He could be therefore be very disappointed or even angry that you don’t make an effort with them. Also, men do listen to their friends and usually greatly value their advice. Do you really want your husband being advised by someone who knows that you don’t like them?
Say sorry: In normally life, most people will automatically say sorry when they do something wrong. But in married life, many couples lose this aspect of common courtesy. It’s a common mistake to think, I don’t need to bother saying sorry to my husband or he knows I m sorry anyway. Saying sorry (and meaning it) shows that you’re aware you have done something to upset your partner and that you regret doing it.
Things change: The world continually changes. Everything and everyone evolves over time. Nothing truly stays the same, and a marriage is no exception. Your relationship will develop as time passes and your lives change. If you want a happy marriage, you must embrace these changes. The worst possible thing you can do is try to resist.
The spark will fade: Many women expect to feel the same way about their husbands after five years of marriage as they did when they first tied the knot. They expect to feel the same excitement and experience the same spark as they did at the very beginning of their relationship. However, in most cases the spark will slowly fade as your marriage racks up the years. But this doesn’t mean your love for one another has diminished. It simply means you have become more relaxed, more comfortable with your partner. Your love actually grows deeper and the bond between you stronger.
Men talk less: A common complaint amongst married women is that their husbands don’t talk enough. This can cause real problems in a marriage because women can take this as a sign of disinterest or lack of feeling. However, the truth is men simply talk less then women. Women love to chat but men, on the whole, would rather read the paper or watch the television.
Also women are much more likely to seek advise from their husbands. Generally, they feel a problem shared is a problem halved, and have no issue with seeking advice from their spouse. Men on the other hand, prefer to work things out for themselves, and are their help or opinion.
Timing is everything: In all aspects of life, timing is everything. And marriage is certainly no exception. You need to pick your moments. Decide when is right time to discuss certain issues or make particular comments. It may sound like little more than common sense but a surprising number of married couples completely ignore this golden rule. Blurting things out at inopportune moments accounts for a high percentage of the arguments between husbands and wives. So many disagreements and heated exchange can be avoided by simply asking yourself, is now the best time to say this?
Praise Him: You may think your husband is a strong, unflinching brute but even the toughest of men need to fell valued. Sometimes they yearn to be told, well done or you made a great job of that. In many cases, the praise from his wife is the only praise a husband ever receives. So make your man feel great with a few well chosen words of praise. Remember, if you have a happy husband, you’re half way to a happy marriage.
Keep it personal: Any personal problems you and your husband may be having should be kept just that – personal. Discussion sensitive issues with friends or family is not advisable. Although a problem shred is a problem halved, and you may well receive some good advice, there could also be negative consequences. Do you really want your friends or family to look at your husband in an unfavourable light? And how will he feel, if one day ( which is often the case) , he finds out that you’ve been shouting your mouth off about something he thought was just between the two of you.
Be nice to his friends: Much like your husband’s family, his friends can probably be hit or miss. But unlike with his family, you may not fell that you need to make an effort to get on with is friends. In some cases, this can be areal mistake. Your husband’s close friends are probably an important part of his life. He could be therefore be very disappointed or even angry that you don’t make an effort with them. Also, men do listen to their friends and usually greatly value their advice. Do you really want your husband being advised by someone who knows that you don’t like them?
Say sorry: In normally life, most people will automatically say sorry when they do something wrong. But in married life, many couples lose this aspect of common courtesy. It’s a common mistake to think, I don’t need to bother saying sorry to my husband or he knows I m sorry anyway. Saying sorry (and meaning it) shows that you’re aware you have done something to upset your partner and that you regret doing it.
Things change: The world continually changes. Everything and everyone evolves over time. Nothing truly stays the same, and a marriage is no exception. Your relationship will develop as time passes and your lives change. If you want a happy marriage, you must embrace these changes. The worst possible thing you can do is try to resist.
The spark will fade: Many women expect to feel the same way about their husbands after five years of marriage as they did when they first tied the knot. They expect to feel the same excitement and experience the same spark as they did at the very beginning of their relationship. However, in most cases the spark will slowly fade as your marriage racks up the years. But this doesn’t mean your love for one another has diminished. It simply means you have become more relaxed, more comfortable with your partner. Your love actually grows deeper and the bond between you stronger.
Men talk less: A common complaint amongst married women is that their husbands don’t talk enough. This can cause real problems in a marriage because women can take this as a sign of disinterest or lack of feeling. However, the truth is men simply talk less then women. Women love to chat but men, on the whole, would rather read the paper or watch the television.
Also women are much more likely to seek advise from their husbands. Generally, they feel a problem shared is a problem halved, and have no issue with seeking advice from their spouse. Men on the other hand, prefer to work things out for themselves, and are their help or opinion.
Timing is everything: In all aspects of life, timing is everything. And marriage is certainly no exception. You need to pick your moments. Decide when is right time to discuss certain issues or make particular comments. It may sound like little more than common sense but a surprising number of married couples completely ignore this golden rule. Blurting things out at inopportune moments accounts for a high percentage of the arguments between husbands and wives. So many disagreements and heated exchange can be avoided by simply asking yourself, is now the best time to say this?
Praise Him: You may think your husband is a strong, unflinching brute but even the toughest of men need to fell valued. Sometimes they yearn to be told, well done or you made a great job of that. In many cases, the praise from his wife is the only praise a husband ever receives. So make your man feel great with a few well chosen words of praise. Remember, if you have a happy husband, you’re half way to a happy marriage.
Keep it personal: Any personal problems you and your husband may be having should be kept just that – personal. Discussion sensitive issues with friends or family is not advisable. Although a problem shred is a problem halved, and you may well receive some good advice, there could also be negative consequences. Do you really want your friends or family to look at your husband in an unfavourable light? And how will he feel, if one day ( which is often the case) , he finds out that you’ve been shouting your mouth off about something he thought was just between the two of you.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
How to introduce your fiancé to your parents
It is always good to introduce whoever you are going out with to your parents before you become too committed to one another this may be a big step to take, depending on your parent’s attitude to your relationship with the opposite sex. If your partner is acceptable to you parents, it fosters more the commitment in your relationship. It also determines the extent to which you special man is going to get along with your family.
To make an interesting attempt at introducing either your fiancé or fiancée to your parents, make sure you follow these seven steps:
Define your relationship
If you have established the fact that both of you are getting married and serious about settling down, do not refer to him as a boyfriend when introducing him to your parents. Rather, be clear about your term of relationship by letting them know he is someone you want to marry.
Let both parties know about each other’s likes and dislikes
Let your fiancé know before hand about your parent’s attitude to your relationship with the opposite sex, their moral and religious principle, likewise their likes and dislikes. Also, let your parents know about your fiancé. It will pave the way for decent small talk while avoiding awkward missteps.
Set some rules
Tell your fiancé how to act. Let him know how to greet your parents, especially if he is not from your tribe, knowing full well that Africans respect moral values, and let him know how to address your parents, whether as dad and mum, or sir and ma.
Do not let his coming be a surprise
Inform your parents before hand of your plan to introduce your partner to them. You can be so sure that they will probably want to tidy up the house and be a little prepared before you show up with the love of you life.
Start Up with a Friendly Conversation
Be careful not to start discussing irrelevant topics that are likely to cause distraction and trigger disaffection. Do not forget that first impression matters a lot.
Create a Conductive Environment
If your parents are the reserved type, make sure you act as a friendly liaison between your fiancé and your parents. Spark up conversation that will loosen their nerves, in a short while, you can be so sure that they will be interested in knowing more about him, and in so doing, you would have made your fiancé feel secured meeting your parents for the first time.
Show appreciation to both parties
Above all, commit your plans unto God’s hand, he is the creator of all, and if thins go well, make sure you show appreciation to your parents and fiancé.
To make an interesting attempt at introducing either your fiancé or fiancée to your parents, make sure you follow these seven steps:
Define your relationship
If you have established the fact that both of you are getting married and serious about settling down, do not refer to him as a boyfriend when introducing him to your parents. Rather, be clear about your term of relationship by letting them know he is someone you want to marry.
Let both parties know about each other’s likes and dislikes
Let your fiancé know before hand about your parent’s attitude to your relationship with the opposite sex, their moral and religious principle, likewise their likes and dislikes. Also, let your parents know about your fiancé. It will pave the way for decent small talk while avoiding awkward missteps.
Set some rules
Tell your fiancé how to act. Let him know how to greet your parents, especially if he is not from your tribe, knowing full well that Africans respect moral values, and let him know how to address your parents, whether as dad and mum, or sir and ma.
Do not let his coming be a surprise
Inform your parents before hand of your plan to introduce your partner to them. You can be so sure that they will probably want to tidy up the house and be a little prepared before you show up with the love of you life.
Start Up with a Friendly Conversation
Be careful not to start discussing irrelevant topics that are likely to cause distraction and trigger disaffection. Do not forget that first impression matters a lot.
Create a Conductive Environment
If your parents are the reserved type, make sure you act as a friendly liaison between your fiancé and your parents. Spark up conversation that will loosen their nerves, in a short while, you can be so sure that they will be interested in knowing more about him, and in so doing, you would have made your fiancé feel secured meeting your parents for the first time.
Show appreciation to both parties
Above all, commit your plans unto God’s hand, he is the creator of all, and if thins go well, make sure you show appreciation to your parents and fiancé.
PLAYING HARD TO GET COULD BE COSTLY
Mabel is young. She is pretty. She has got a great job and like bees to honey, every man desires her. In fact, she gets marriage proposals like the air she breathes. But that was in my prime, she states. Then, I was between 24 and 25 years old and I had the world at my feet and I thought I could easily get a man whenever I was set for marriage. Ironically, I clocked 34 years two weeks ago and I am still as single as a tailor’s needle.
The last proposal was on my 26th birthday when harry, a young lecturer proposed to me. I knew he wanted me badly and was always talking about life together. He had an aged mother who wanted him married. So imagine the pressure on me. My answer was always: I need time. Not that I didn’t like him, I was also in love but how can I agree to a proposal from a guy so cheaply?
I thought l should play hard –to-get a bit and allow him know that he had other contenders. How wrong I was. By the time I kept him waiting for six months, he stopped coming and calling. Initially, I thought it was a joke but when it was almost a year and I saw a friend of his, I knew the game was up. Harry got married to anther woman. His friend told me that he thought I didn’t love him and had to get married. Though I am still pretty, I am frantically searching for a mate.
Henrietta is 42. She is an architect and works in a federal ministry in Abuja. To think that I served here, worked here and still single is unbelievable, she says. I have lost count of the many suitors I had when I was a youth corps member. They came in droves and I was scared. There was this particular guy who was ready to marry me before I ended my service but I was scared.
I was just 23, pretty and had not known the world. I told him to give me time, which he did. Along the line, another guy came but he was richer and ready to take me abroad for further studies. I thought of my mother (a widow) and how she would feel if I left her. So, I just played a fast one on him collected his gifts and refused his offer. I almost ended up as a second wife to an army general during the military era. I got landed property, cars and foreign trips from him, he was quite generous and was ready to marry me but my problem was his wife. She threatened to kill me if I attempted marrying her husband and I decided being a mistress.
Maybe the period of nursing the man and meeting his needs saw me growing older. I had no time for younger suitors and realized that I was in my early 30s. then, I tried making myself available to other men but I had already been tagged General’s wife and none wanted me. Though alive, I have called off the affair with him (heard he is sating a youth corps member) and I have resorted to getting a good husband from the church I now attend.
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