HOW TO MOTIVATE YOURSELF

Motivation is what keeps us moving even it seems there is no hope for survival. There are lots of potholes along the path of success, and if you fall into any, motivation is the pulley machine that would move you up the path. As paracetamol is the easy to reach antidote for headache, so also is motivation for those who want to be successful. There is no need to fold your arms, waiting to be consoled. Have you ever dreamt about something that appears impossible? There is a solution to whatever your dreams and vision are. Let’s study how airplanes came into existence. In 1904, the Edinburgh society of Engineers said that it was impossible for a metal object to go up in the air. Their resolution was the best they knew at the time it was passed, but that did not make it right. Not until 1908, when Orville and Wilbur, the Wright Brothers flew the first airplane, contrary to the resolution of the Edinburgh society of Engineers. What did the Wright Brothers do? They simply motivated themselves. So, the solution to your seemingly difficult dreams is to tell yourself ‘ I can overcome the impossibility of my dreams.’ “ A man’s best at a particular time is not always his ultimate, said David O. Abioye, the author of Productive Thinking. Look at every challenge in the face and say to it, “ I can overcome you.” Take up what men have given up and tell yourself it can be done. There is great power stored up in your mind, so don’t lose it to lack of use. Motivate yourself to move to your destination.

MARRIAGE TIPS

Make Breakfast: Making your partner breakfast may not sound like much but it’s a thoughtful act at the start of the day. In small way, it reconfirms the bond and connection between husband and wife. However, this only works if the favour is returned by your other half on a regular basis. If you make his breakfast 99days out of 100, then not only will you begin to see it as just another chore but he will take it for granted and there place little or no emphasis on it.
Be nice to his friends: Much like your husband’s family, his friends can probably be hit or miss. But unlike with his family, you may not fell that you need to make an effort to get on with is friends. In some cases, this can be areal mistake. Your husband’s close friends are probably an important part of his life. He could be therefore be very disappointed or even angry that you don’t make an effort with them. Also, men do listen to their friends and usually greatly value their advice. Do you really want your husband being advised by someone who knows that you don’t like them?
Say sorry: In normally life, most people will automatically say sorry when they do something wrong. But in married life, many couples lose this aspect of common courtesy. It’s a common mistake to think, I don’t need to bother saying sorry to my husband or he knows I m sorry anyway. Saying sorry (and meaning it) shows that you’re aware you have done something to upset your partner and that you regret doing it.
Things change: The world continually changes. Everything and everyone evolves over time. Nothing truly stays the same, and a marriage is no exception. Your relationship will develop as time passes and your lives change. If you want a happy marriage, you must embrace these changes. The worst possible thing you can do is try to resist.
The spark will fade: Many women expect to feel the same way about their husbands after five years of marriage as they did when they first tied the knot. They expect to feel the same excitement and experience the same spark as they did at the very beginning of their relationship. However, in most cases the spark will slowly fade as your marriage racks up the years. But this doesn’t mean your love for one another has diminished. It simply means you have become more relaxed, more comfortable with your partner. Your love actually grows deeper and the bond between you stronger.
Men talk less: A common complaint amongst married women is that their husbands don’t talk enough. This can cause real problems in a marriage because women can take this as a sign of disinterest or lack of feeling. However, the truth is men simply talk less then women. Women love to chat but men, on the whole, would rather read the paper or watch the television.
Also women are much more likely to seek advise from their husbands. Generally, they feel a problem shared is a problem halved, and have no issue with seeking advice from their spouse. Men on the other hand, prefer to work things out for themselves, and are their help or opinion.
Timing is everything: In all aspects of life, timing is everything. And marriage is certainly no exception. You need to pick your moments. Decide when is right time to discuss certain issues or make particular comments. It may sound like little more than common sense but a surprising number of married couples completely ignore this golden rule. Blurting things out at inopportune moments accounts for a high percentage of the arguments between husbands and wives. So many disagreements and heated exchange can be avoided by simply asking yourself, is now the best time to say this?
Praise Him: You may think your husband is a strong, unflinching brute but even the toughest of men need to fell valued. Sometimes they yearn to be told, well done or you made a great job of that. In many cases, the praise from his wife is the only praise a husband ever receives. So make your man feel great with a few well chosen words of praise. Remember, if you have a happy husband, you’re half way to a happy marriage.
Keep it personal: Any personal problems you and your husband may be having should be kept just that – personal. Discussion sensitive issues with friends or family is not advisable. Although a problem shred is a problem halved, and you may well receive some good advice, there could also be negative consequences. Do you really want your friends or family to look at your husband in an unfavourable light? And how will he feel, if one day ( which is often the case) , he finds out that you’ve been shouting your mouth off about something he thought was just between the two of you.

How to introduce your fiancé to your parents

It is always good to introduce whoever you are going out with to your parents before you become too committed to one another this may be a big step to take, depending on your parent’s attitude to your relationship with the opposite sex. If your partner is acceptable to you parents, it fosters more the commitment in your relationship. It also determines the extent to which you special man is going to get along with your family.

To make an interesting attempt at introducing either your fiancé or fiancée to your parents, make sure you follow these seven steps:

Define your relationship

If you have established the fact that both of you are getting married and serious about settling down, do not refer to him as a boyfriend when introducing him to your parents. Rather, be clear about your term of relationship by letting them know he is someone you want to marry.

Let both parties know about each other’s likes and dislikes

Let your fiancé know before hand about your parent’s attitude to your relationship with the opposite sex, their moral and religious principle, likewise their likes and dislikes. Also, let your parents know about your fiancé. It will pave the way for decent small talk while avoiding awkward missteps.

Set some rules

Tell your fiancé how to act. Let him know how to greet your parents, especially if he is not from your tribe, knowing full well that Africans respect moral values, and let him know how to address your parents, whether as dad and mum, or sir and ma.

Do not let his coming be a surprise

Inform your parents before hand of your plan to introduce your partner to them. You can be so sure that they will probably want to tidy up the house and be a little prepared before you show up with the love of you life.

Start Up with a Friendly Conversation

Be careful not to start discussing irrelevant topics that are likely to cause distraction and trigger disaffection. Do not forget that first impression matters a lot.

Create a Conductive Environment

If your parents are the reserved type, make sure you act as a friendly liaison between your fiancé and your parents. Spark up conversation that will loosen their nerves, in a short while, you can be so sure that they will be interested in knowing more about him, and in so doing, you would have made your fiancé feel secured meeting your parents for the first time.

Show appreciation to both parties

Above all, commit your plans unto God’s hand, he is the creator of all, and if thins go well, make sure you show appreciation to your parents and fiancé.

PLAYING HARD TO GET COULD BE COSTLY

Mabel is young. She is pretty. She has got a great job and like bees to honey, every man desires her. In fact, she gets marriage proposals like the air she breathes. But that was in my prime, she states. Then, I was between 24 and 25 years old and I had the world at my feet and I thought I could easily get a man whenever I was set for marriage. Ironically, I clocked 34 years two weeks ago and I am still as single as a tailor’s needle.

The last proposal was on my 26th birthday when harry, a young lecturer proposed to me. I knew he wanted me badly and was always talking about life together. He had an aged mother who wanted him married. So imagine the pressure on me. My answer was always: I need time. Not that I didn’t like him, I was also in love but how can I agree to a proposal from a guy so cheaply?

I thought l should play hard –to-get a bit and allow him know that he had other contenders. How wrong I was. By the time I kept him waiting for six months, he stopped coming and calling. Initially, I thought it was a joke but when it was almost a year and I saw a friend of his, I knew the game was up. Harry got married to anther woman. His friend told me that he thought I didn’t love him and had to get married. Though I am still pretty, I am frantically searching for a mate.

Henrietta is 42. She is an architect and works in a federal ministry in Abuja. To think that I served here, worked here and still single is unbelievable, she says. I have lost count of the many suitors I had when I was a youth corps member. They came in droves and I was scared. There was this particular guy who was ready to marry me before I ended my service but I was scared.

I was just 23, pretty and had not known the world. I told him to give me time, which he did. Along the line, another guy came but he was richer and ready to take me abroad for further studies. I thought of my mother (a widow) and how she would feel if I left her. So, I just played a fast one on him collected his gifts and refused his offer. I almost ended up as a second wife to an army general during the military era. I got landed property, cars and foreign trips from him, he was quite generous and was ready to marry me but my problem was his wife. She threatened to kill me if I attempted marrying her husband and I decided being a mistress.

Maybe the period of nursing the man and meeting his needs saw me growing older. I had no time for younger suitors and realized that I was in my early 30s. then, I tried making myself available to other men but I had already been tagged General’s wife and none wanted me. Though alive, I have called off the affair with him (heard he is sating a youth corps member) and I have resorted to getting a good husband from the church I now attend.